Here Without You
by sarabeth1
Summary: Yet another post Telling story. Sorry, I had to. This is my first Alias fic, so please read. The story picks up two months after Sydney dissapears.
1. Default Chapter

"Here Without You"

Disclaimer: I don't own a darn thing, but of course the characters you don't recognize.

Note: I stole the title from the 3 Doors Down song because, well I like the song and I couldn't think of a title on my own. I'm very original, I know. Oh, this is my first Alias fic. I know there are so many post Telling stories, but I wanted to try my hand at one. If this resembles anyone else's story, it wasn't intended to. Please read and review. Also, if anyone is a fan of Third Watch I also write some stuff for that.

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Irina Derevko made her way up the long staircase. She was going to see him. It broke her heart every time she saw him because he never knew who she truly was. To him she was Laura Bauer, never Bristow because that would be too dangerous. All he knew and thought to be true was that his father had died when he was a baby and she had been married to him at the time. He couldn't know the truth. Unfortunately, times called for the truth to come out.

"He'll find the rest out himself," she said as she knocked on his door.

"Coming," came the gruff voice of Nathan Kellerman. "Laura. Long time no see."

"Yeah, well things have been busy."

"Come in, I suppose." He headed towards the kitchen.

"So, how's my stepson been?"

"I'm not your stepson. My father is dead. Why you still come to see me is a mystery. And for reasons I'll never understand, why did my mother allow it?"

"Mary understood that you were a link to your father. She didn't like it, but she allowed it. After all, she did have an affair with a married man." Irina moved closer. "I'm not here to discuss any of that though. I'm here because of something very important."

"That would be?"

"I have a daughter, your sister. She's been in an accident and has lost her memory."

"A sister? And why are you just now telling me this?" Nate was pacing back and forth.

"Because, I was involved with some unsavory people and to keep you and her safe no was to know you were siblings. That's not what is import. What is is that I have to leave and she needs to stay here with you. Her husband was an abusive man and he tried to keep her from leaving him. He won't stop until he finds her. I need you to keep her safe." Irina handed him a key and a piece of paper. "Her name is Sydney and she's your age. All her papers and such are under the name Kellerman. No one will find her. Go get her."

"Kellerman? How'd you pull that one? That's my mom's name. Not my dad's. Why isn't her name Bauer like you?"

"How much sense would it make if you had a sister with a different name. It'd be hard to explain. Trust me on this."

"She doesn't even know me."

"She doesn't know anyone. Just tell her I left you with only her name and where to find her. Don't say anything else." Laura rushed to the door. "Take care of each other."

Irina then hurried down the stairs before Nate could follow her. She wished she didn't have to leave Syd and Nate. It was necessary though. Sydney was in danger. Everyone in the CIA was looking for her and the only way they could keep her safe would be to keep her under lock and key at headquarters. Sydney was better off with amnesia and with a brother she didn't know.

It took Irina two months to locate where Sloane had taken Syd after the fight with Francie's double. It was only two days ago that she found Sydney with Sloane in Columbia. Syd had looked at her mother with a mixture of contempt and joy. As they took off towards freedom, a guard came behind Syd and cracked her hard upside the head. Once Irina had managed to get Syd somewhere safe she realized that her daughter had amnesia. It was then she knew she had to take her to New York and to her brother where she could be safe.

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"They might as well consider her dead, it's been two months with no leads," a rookie CIA agent commented as he walked past an open door.

"Agent?!" a voice called from the room.

"Yes, sir?" He approached the door only to find an extremely upset man behind the desk.

"Agent Bristow is not dead. I never want to hear that again."

Michael Vaughn stared down the two agents who had just passed his office. After giving them the look of death they were allowed to leave. He closed his eyes and for the millionth time he wished it were all a dream. He wished that Francie was alive and running her restaurant, that Will wasn't in a hospital bed in a deep coma, and most of all he wished he and Sydney had made it to Santa Barbara.

"Mike?"

"Eric," he said opening his eyes. "What do you have?"

"Unfortunately, nothing. There is something that I have to tell you though, that you are not going to like."

"That is?"

"Director Kendall officially gave me Sydney's case. He doesn't want you or Agent Bristow anywhere near it unless necessary." Eric leaned against the doorframe.

"He what?! There is no way I'm staying away from this." Vaughn stood up and practically pounced on Eric. "Why did you agree to this?"

"Because if I didn't take it, someone else would. Someone who would make sure you and Agent Bristow stayed away. Now, come on man. Do you seriously think I would take you off Syd's case? I'm not that stupid."

"Thank you." He backed away from his friend.

"There is one condition. Go home for a couple of days and get your head cleared up. I need you to be 100 percent." Eric pushed himself off the wall. "When you come back we'll start on something new we haven't thought of yet to find Sydney."

"Yeah. Ok." Vaughn grabbed his things and followed Eric out of his office. "I'm just going to stop by and see Will then I'll go home."

Vaughn smiled sadly as he walked by Eric and headed to his car. Eric knew he was going to see Will before he did anything. Vaughn was the only one besides Will's family who still saw him on a regular basis. The doctors weren't sure if he would ever wake up, but Vaughn refused to believe that. He had seen too many miracles. Besides that, Sydney wouldn't want anyone to forget about Will. He meant to much to her, and Sydney meant everything to Vaughn.

After sitting with Will for an hour or so he left the hospital. Eric once asked what it was that he did while he sat with Will. Easy. He talked. He talked about how the search for Sydney was going. He told Will how much he believed he'd wake up and when he did how he, Eric and Will would all go to a Kings game. In some weird strange way Vaughn had forged a one sided friendship with Will. It just didn't seem right that his family were the only ones to see him, because Vaughn knew that if Syd was around she'd be there for Will.

"Home sweet home," Vaughn said bitterly as he opened his apartment door.

He walked straight to the fridge and grabbed a beer. That's how his nights were. Drink a few beers and try to pretend that Syd was just off on some mission and would be home soon. It never worked though. His mind was all too clear of the fact that someone had taken her away after she killed Francie's double. And Vaughn knew deep down it was Sloane. Suddenly, just thinking about Sloane caused Vaughn to flip out. Two months of keeping his emotions bottled finally came out. He flew the beer bottle at the wall and preceded to destroy everything he saw. After a ten minutes or so and nothing left to throw, he collapsed to the floor.

"Oh, god. Syd, I miss you," he whispered as his eyes came across a picture of her. "I'll bring you home."

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Nate entered the motel where he was told his sister was. Sister. Wow. Ever since his mom died when he was 18 he had been alone. Now, he had a family again. But could he trust Laura? She never seemed to be an honest person and to just leave this woman with a stranger seemed wrong.

"Hello?" he called after knocking a few times with no answer. "Sydney? I'm Nate Kellerman. Your mom sent me." When there was no answer he took the key and opened the door. "What are you doing, Nathan?" he asked himself.

He could hear the shower running then turn off and was about to turn and leave when he a woman with long wet brown hair came out of the bathroom. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at him. He though he saw a flash of anticipation, like she was waiting for something to happen. He wasn't sure. Instead of being on guard though, she moved to the bed and sat down.

"Nathan?"

"Yeah, your Sydney?"

"That's what Laura, I mean my mom called me." She looked down. "She said you're my brother."

"So she says. I don't know. She's gone now. Just left."

"Great. No memory and the only person who knows me is gone." 

"Well, now I know you." He sat down next to her. "What happened?"

"If you ask Laura it was an accident. No details. She wouldn't even tell me anything about myself. I know nothing. What did she tell you?"

"Your name, but not your real name." He took a deep breath. "She said your last name is Kellerman. It's not. I know that much."

"I guess now it is though, huh?"

"Yeah." He took a good look at Sydney. "Look, she doesn't want you to know but she says your husband beat you up. Something about the way she said it, makes me think it's not true. I do believe she feels you are in danger."

"She said you'd keep me safe."

"I will. Even if it turns out you aren't my sister, I won't leave you alone in New York City. First, we need to get you looked out by a doctor."

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Sydney sat alone in the exam room. The doctor had just completed his exam. Nate had gotten a DNA swab done. They wanted to know for sure if they were brother and sister. The doctor said it usually took a long time to get the results, but somehow Nate knew him so the doctor put a rush on them. Now, Nate was off looking for some coffee. She prayed they were siblings because then she wouldn't be alone. Her life was a blank. There was nothing. Even the little bit Laura had told them felt like a lie. Soon, the door opened and the doctor and Nate stepped in.

"Ok, well we are still waiting for the DNA test to be done." He sat down on a stool. "Would you like Mr. Kellerman to stay here while we go over what I found?"

"I don't care."

"Ok, then. I think the cause of your amnesia was blunt trauma to your skull. There was a small fracture on the crown of you skull. In most cases like this, the memory loss isn't permanent." He looked at Sydney sadly. "I'm going to assume this next finding will come as a surprise to you. You are pregnant."

"I'm what?" She asked in shock. "How far along?"

"I don't know. I thought we would do an ultrasound while we wait for the DNA results."

Sydney looked at Nate. If he was her brother, then he just got stuck with a pregnant sister. They both watched as the doctor did the ultrasound. She flinched as the door opened and a nurse came in with a folder. The doctor took it and continued with the ultrasound. When he was done he wiped off Syd's belly and then turned to her.

"I'd say between two and three months based on the development. You'll be able to get a better estimate in a month or so." He picked up the folder and began to read. "Apparently, you two were separated at birth."

"Excuse me?" Nate questioned.

"Well, the DNA tests conclude that not only are you siblings, but you are twins."

"Twins?" Nate chocked out. "Are you sure? Because I'm really confused right now."

"I'm sure you are, but I am positive." 

"Hmm, twins." Nate looked to Sydney. "Looks like you're stuck with me, sis." 

"Yeah. Looks like," she said. 

Despite her complete and utter confusion with everything that had happened in the last two days she smiled widely and felt herself feeling happy. Something good finally happened. She not only had a brother, but a twin brother. This was her link to a world that seemed to kick her butt to the curb. Maybe things weren't so terrible after all. Then again, maybe they were. She was pregnant with no knowledge of her life before two days ago. And if her mother was correct, she was in danger. Yet, in that moment she didn't care about that. She wasn't alone anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

Here Without You Chapter 2

Notes: Thanks to Callie2 and twin*muse for reviewing my first chapter. I'm going to give it one more shot. I hope more people read. The character of Chloe Murphy I stole from the Alias book "Alias: The Pursuit: A Michael Vaughn Novel". Please review. Thanks.

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"Here we are," Nate said as he opened his apartment door.

Sydney took in the appearance of the apartment. It was kept clean and tidy. Then again, she expected that from him. She walked around trying to get her bearings. There was a bookshelf with some books, but mostly plaques and picture frames. She took it all in. Each picture told a story, something that Nate had a memory of.

"So, umm . . . you were in the Army?" she motioned to a picture.

"Army? NO!" he laughed. "Navy SEALS all the way." He sat down next to Syd. "I was all set to be a career military guy."

"What happened?"

"There was a complication during the last mission I was on. A bunch of good men died and because of politics, the truth never came out. I couldn't go back and fight blindly and end up dead like my friends. Besides, they booted me because I was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress," he sighed. "If I could, I think I'd go back. I'd leave this new life I've made for myself here and go back to the adventure."

"What is this new life you'd be leaving behind?" Sydney questioned.

"I'd be leaving behind a gym I own and run and a wonderful woman I'm in love with."

"I don't think leaving behind the one you love would be worth it." Sydney smiled. "Besides, you have me now."

"Yes. I do. So, if the Navy comes calling, it won't be so hard to tell them to get lost." Nate stood up. "Well, let's get you settled in."

"Sounds good, but I don't have much to settle in."

"Oh," he chuckled. "Your right. We'll have to do something about that." Nate walked to the phone. "I'll just call Chloe."

"Chloe . . . the woman your in love with?"

"Or you could just call her my girlfriend."

"Or I could call her your girlfriend," Syd laughed. "Is that smart?"

"It's not like I can hide your existence from her. We'll just have to come up with some kind of excuse. She's been gone the last week on business and I haven't talked to her so I'm sure I could come up with something that wasn't too far off." He picked up the phone.

Sydney listened as Nate talked to Chloe. He didn't give details just asked if she could come over. When he hung up he moved to sit next to Syd. They both fell into an awkward silence. She had no clue what he was thinking, but Sydney wondered if he was trying to come with something to tell Chloe.

"Did you come up with anything to tell her? Because I've got nothing," Sydney broke the silence.

"I think this might work. I'll tell her that yesterday a woman came to me and told me that I had a twin sister and that I had been adopted. More than likely that is the case. So, you are staying with me because I am the only family you've got. I think that will work."

"So simple, yet so smart." Sydney looked down for a minute. "You really think your mother isn't your mother?"

"It's either Mary Kellerman who is our mother or Laura Bauer. I wish it were Mary because I don't trust a word Laura says."

"Laura did say I was her daughter."

"Let's not worry about that. Apparently our parents didn't care too much about us, so let's just concentrate on each other." Nate stood up when there was a knock on his door.

"And my memory loss?" 

"Umm . . .," Nate trailed off.

"Car accident?"

"Good." Nate opened the door and in walked a beautiful woman who looked a Sydney questioningly. "Chloe, this is my sister Sydney."

"Hello. I'm Chloe Murphy." She extended her hand to Syd. "I'm afraid Nate's never mentioned a sister."

And so the lie began. Well, semi-lie semi-truth. Either way, Chloe seemed to buy it. Sydney instantly liked woman. Before Nate could mention needing to go shopping, Chloe instantly made the suggestion. The three trekked of to get Syd some essentials, despite her protests. She had no money and didn't want to become a freeloader.

"We probably tired you out," Chloe said plopping down on Nate's couch hours later.

"No. It was fun."

"Great." Chloe looked to Nate. "You my boy, have to go to work."

"I was gonna cancel tonight."

"No way, Nathan. I know those kids are looking forward to class." Chloe leaned over to Syd. "He teaches young kids martial arts."

"You do?" Syd questioned. "You can't disappoint them. I'll be fine alone."

"No she won't, because I'll stay to keep her company. I've only been in New York about a year. I'd like to have someone to talk to other than you."

"That hurts," he said jokingly. "If you need anything . . .," he began before being cut off.

"We won't." Chloe got up and shooed him out. "He thinks he's needed all the time." She sat back down.

"So, how'd you two meet?"

"Well, it's really nothing too special but ok . . . here's our story. I met Nate at this little corner deli my second week here. He was arguing with the clerk who spoke no English, only Chinese. I had to defuse the situation by translating for him. We ended up sitting together and the next thing I knew he was handing me his card and telling me to stop by his gym. So, I started going there to work out and next thing I know we're together."

"Wow. That's so . . .," Syd trailed off.

"Boring, plain? I know." Chloe smiled.

"You speak Chinese?"

"Among other languages. I'm linguist at the State Department. I was in Paris before I moved back here."

"Maybe you could teach me some stuff," Syd said. "But, now I want you tell me all about my brother."

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Vaughn walked into his office after being gone a few days. The few days he had off had been torture. His days were spent thinking of Sydney. His sleep was consumed by the same nightmare he'd had for a month now. It all felt real, but it wasn't. He almost wished parts of it were true. At least he was with Syd. 

"Mike, I thought I told you to get some rest," Weiss stated.

"I didn't get much sleep last night."

"The dream?" Weiss sat down. "Mike, you need to talk to someone."

"No. It's just from the mission. I can handle it."

"The mission?! You make it sound like it was nothing. You were missing for a week and then you just show up in the middle of Nowhereville, Germany beaten and bloody." Weiss stood up. 

"And I got nothing to show for it! I headed to Berlin to find Sydney. I thought I'd be bringing her home, instead I'm found in some tiny no name village alone. Those men who took me just wanted to make an example. They knew where she was and that caused more pain than the bruises and burns." Vaughn tried to calm down. "So what if in my dreams she's there?! So what if I get to hold her?"

"Once again though, in your dream those men are beating you senseless in front of her."

"But she's alive."

"She wasn't there. You need to talk to someone," Weiss said before leaving.

Vaughn lowered his head. Eric was right. Part of the dream actually happened. Other parts obviously hadn't. Sydney had never been there to hold him and care for him. He tried to get the thoughts to leave his mind. He didn't want to see the pain in Syd's eyes. Someone walked into his office and snapped him back to reality.

"Drop it, Eric," he hissed. He looked up to see his visitor wasn't who he thought. "Agent Bristow."

"Marshall just received a message sent for you and me." He handed the paper over then took a seat.

"Jack. Agent Vaughn. The only purpose behind this is to quell some of your fears. Sydney is alive. She is not a traitor or staying away on her own accord. I have made sure she remains safe. When the time comes that Sydney can be returned safely, I will turn myself in. There is much that needs to be said and explained. Jack, Jonathan is alive and well. All will be explained. Irina," Vaughn read aloud. "Who does she think she is, keeping Sydney from us?"

"Sydney's mother, I'm assuming." Jack took the paper back. "I don't know if we should believe she is looking out for Sydney or if she was the one who took her."

"What's the Jonathan stuff?"

"If it's true it means Sydney's twin brother never died."

"Her what?"

"You heard me correctly Agent Vaughn. When they were born the doctor said Jonathan's heart wasn't strong enough." Jack remained composed although his voice failed him. "He died two days later."

"Does Syd know?"

"No. Why put her through that? If he is alive, I hope Irina didn't raise him in her world." He stood up. "I have to show Kendall this."

"Thanks."

He watched Jack walk away. He could not believe what he just found out. Sydney was alive and safe. There was yet another Bristow in the world, who may or may not know of his parentage. He tried to process everything as he got up and shut his door. He sat back down and closed his eyes.

"Vaughn?" her voice floated in the air. "Vaughn?"

He kept his eyes closed. He knew he was hearing things again. Sydney was not in his office. No matter how much he wanted to be there. Her voice was still calling to him. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Syd smiling.

"Vaughn. I've been calling you."

"Syd? It's you. How'd you . . . I thought . . .," he trailed off as he hugged her waist.

"I came back," she said. "You thought I wouldn't fight to come home?"

"I don't know what to think. I'm just so glad to have you here." Vaughn still held onto her. A ringing noise was heard and Syd started to fade away. "Don't go. Please don't go."

Vaughn's head jerked up off the desk. It had been a dream. The ringing came from his phone. Angrily, he picked it up only to hear Weiss say there was a meeting in an hour. Why did he have to wake up? He had been so happy with Sydney. He wanted to go back. He had to go back.


	3. Chapter 3

"Here Without You" Chapter 3

Long time no post… I know…I'm a slacker.  I was intending to just stop this story completely because it didn't seem like people were into it.  Little did I know that the story wanted to be finished.  The darn thing haunted my sleep.  So, I figured this summer I have nothing to do except my two day a week internship.  Why not get back into the world of fan fiction.  Anywho, please be kind and review.  Even if it's just a 'hey, I'm reading' or a 'this sucks'.  At least I know it's been read.  Enjoy.

Disclaimer:  I don't own a thing…except college loans.  You can sue me so long as you are willing to take those bad boys over J

Sydney waited patiently for Nate to come home.  She and Chloe had just come back from her first visit with her doctor.  The doctor threw her for a pretty big loop. Now she wanted to share it with her brother.  She nearly pounced on him when he walked in the door.

            "Nate, I need to tell you something."  Syd grinned.

            "Ok."  He smiled back then looked to Chloe.  "You know it's not healthy to give pregnant woman drugs."

            "Shut up."  Chloe laughed.

            "The doctor you took me to that first day . . . he missed something."

            "What?"

            "A second heartbeat.  I'm having twins!"

            "Wow!  Uncle Nate better start saving money. I only thought I had to spoil one kid.  Now it's two."  Nate leaned down to give Sydney a hug.  He looked to Chloe.  "So, I assume it's good news day?"  He winked.

            "Huh?"  Syd questioned.

            "Last night,"  Chloe stared as she pulled out a box from her purse.  "Nate asked me to marry him."  She pulled the ring out and put it on her hand.

            "No way!  That's great."  Sydney beamed for her brother and soon to be sister-in-law.  "So, when are you going to tie the knot?"

            "We were thinking the sooner the better."

            "Yep, so I guess now we need a house for five,"  Chloe added.  "I mean for once the twins get old enough they can have their own room."

            Sydney couldn't have been happier.  She feared at first, for only a few seconds that Nate and Chloe would want to be alone.  Thankfully, they wanted Syd to live with them.  It was bad enough being four months pregnant without knowing who the babies father was, but to be completely alone would have been terrible.  She watched how happy they were and wondered if she had someone out there who made her that happy.

            "Syd?"  Nate called out.

            "Yeah?"

            "Do you wanna go out and eat with us?"

            "Nah.  I'm gonna take a nap.  Have fun though," she said as she made her way to her room.

            She sat down on her bed and pulled out a journal.  the psychologist that she saw suggested she keep one to record her dreams and possible memories in.  She opened it up and uncapped her pen.  Sydney felt stupid using it as a dream journal so she documented important things in it.

            "August 10, 2003.  Chloe picked me up at the library today before taking me to the doctor's.  She says I not only work there, but I live there.  Anyway, I found out I am having twins.  Oh boy.  Also, Nate and Chloe are getting married.  They are so happy and in love.  I wonder if I have that somewhere waiting for me.  If those dreams are any indication, maybe I do."

            She closed the book and laid down.  Maybe she'd dream of him again.  She loved dreaming of him.  It made her feel safe and loved.  If only she could remember his face when she woke up.  Sometimes, she thought if she could remember a name that would be enough to help her on her way to finding her past.

            "Mike?"  Weiss called out as he entered the apartment.

            "What?"  Vaughn was sitting on the couch nursing a beer.

            "Good to see you too man."  He sat down next to his friend.  "What's this?"

            "This?  Just a letter from an old friend.  We were at the farm together."  He handed it over to Eric.

            "It's a wedding invitation."

            "No kidding."  Vaughn handed him another slip of paper.

            "Vaughn, I wasn't sure if you'd get this.  If you do, please come.  It'd be nice to catch up. Besides, if you're single I have a beautiful sister-in-law to be to hook you up with.  Yours, Chloe Murphy."  Weiss looked at Eric.  "This is what's got you downing those beers like it's nothing?"

            "No."

            "Yes."

            "No."

            "Yes, and don't say no again."

            "Fine."

            "Don't pout.  I know you too well."

            "Or maybe, I've just been too easy to read."  Vaughn took a swig.  "Chloe doesn't have clearance to know about Sydney.  I just wish I could talk to her about it."

            "You've got me."

            "I know.  It's just . . . it would be nice to talk to someone who doesn't know the case.  It doesn't matter anyway."

            "Why's that?"  Eric asked.

            "I'm not going.  I'll only bring her down."

            "I see.  How about I get you out of this stuffy place and we get some dinner.  I'm starving."  Eric got up.

            "Sure."  Vaughn wobbled as he stood.  "If you drive."

            "That was the plan."

            Vaughn followed Eric to his car.  Every time he started to come undone, Eric was there.  For that he was grateful.  One day he hoped to repay him.  Then again, he wasn't sure he wanted to stick around much longer.  It was getting harder to wake up in the mornings and the nightmares haunted him.  To top it off, it seemed they'd never capture Derevko or Sloane. 

            He knew Eric was worried about him.  Everyone thought he was on the verge of losing it.  They were wrong.  He already lost it.  He lost everything when Sydney left.  Vaughn wasn't stupid either, he knew there were some people who were concerned he'd do something to himself.  There was no way he would.  Finding Sydney was what kept him going.  But, sometimes he wondered if he could stay in LA and be near things that reminded him of her. It was growing harder to do that. 

            "Don't . . . no!  Leave him alone!"  Sydney cried in her sleep.

            She was terrified.  Not for herself, but for the man in the room with her.  It was the faceless man from before.  Except she didn't feel safe.  She watched as two larger men kicked, punched, and even burned him with their cigarettes.  It was too much for her. Somehow she managed to maneuver herself just enough to kick one of the men.

            "No, don't touch him," she mumbled then shot out of bed.  She was drenched in sweat and her heart was racing.

            "Sydney?"  Chloe entered the room.  "Are you ok?"

            "I didn't wake you, did I?"

            "No.  Nate's snoring did."  She sat down on the edge of the bed and put her arms around Syd.  "Bad dream?"

            "Bad dream is an understatement.  It was terrible.  There were these men hurting him and I couldn't stop it," she cried.  "It was like they were torturing him."

            "Shh.  It's ok."

            "What if it's not a dream?"

            "It's not a memory.  Don't think like that.  We've been over this," Chloe said.

            "It was so real."

            "So was the dream you showed up to the wedding naked."  Chloe laughed.  "Go to sleep.  In the morning we'll have the biggest most fattening breakfast before we set off for some last minute baby shopping."

            "Yeah, ok."

            "Think of happy dreams with mystery man," Chloe said before leaving.

            Sydney wasn't sure she wanted to dream of him this time.  Instead, she focused on Nate and Chloe's wedding.  For some reason they couldn't wait to get married.  The ceremony was only two months after they announce their engagement.  They now lived in nice four bedroom in Brooklyn.

            She had to change her job, since she was 7 months pregnant.  It was too much to commute to Manhattan in her 'fattened state' as she called it.  So, she transferred to a library closer to home.  She loved her job and her family.  Maybe it was time she stopped focusing on the past when the future was standing in front of her.

            "He shoots, he scores," Weiss cried.

            "Yeah, you're a natural," Vaughn teased.

            "We all can't be as good as you.  Besides, when it comes to yo-yo you can't touch me."

            "No, sadly I can't."

            Vaughn skated off the ice.  Weiss followed and sat down.  Ever since that night Eric found Vaughn drowning his sorrows in booze, he had made it his mission to get Vaughn's mind off Sydney even if for a few hours.  Now, Vaughn didn't mind the time he spent with his friend.  He just wished everyone would stop acting like he was going to break at any moment.

            "Mikey, we need to talk."

            "Don't get all serious on me.  It doesn't suit you."  Vaughn began to undo his skates.

            "You're telling me," he laughed.  "Now, seriously . . . did you think you could get away with punching Kendall?"

            "He deserved it.  If I hadn't Jack would have."  Vaughn's eyes showed his anger. "For him to even insinuate Sydney's disappearance was of her own free will . . . she's not a traitor and she's not working with her mother."

            "We all know that.  You just can't go around punching Kendall.  We could have put his face on a punching bag or something."  Weiss pulled out a letter.  "You are being ordered to take grief counseling."

            "Yeah, funny."  He pushed the letter away.

            "No joke."

            "How long?"

            "I think a session or two will do."  Weiss dropped the letter on his lap.  "Can I suggest something?"

            "What?"

            "Get away for awhile.  Go somewhere.  Anywhere."

            "I can't.  Leave it alone."  Vaughn stood up.  "I might as well get this counseling out of the way.  I'll see you later."

            Vaughn grabbed his stuff and left the ice skating rink.  He felt guilty for the way he had been treating everyone.  There was even a small part of him that felt bad for punching Kendall.  Small part.  Very small.  It angered him to no end he was being ordered to talk to someone about his feeling.  He just wanted to get done with it right away.  Knowing Barnett kept odd hours, he drove the CIA headquarters. 

            "Agent Vaughn?"  Barnett looked up at him.

            "I'm being ordered to attend grief counseling and I want to get it done with now.  Do you have time?"

            "Of course."  She motioned for him to sit.

            "Dr. Reynolds, isn't there anything you can do that can speed up my memory to return?"  Sydney asked impatiently. 

            "Sydney, I've told you.  We can't rush it.  Let's just talk about some of your dreams."

            "Fine."  She closed her eyes.  "There's this nightmare I keep having.  It's the man from my other dreams.  Only this time, it's not happy.  There are these men . . .," she trailed off.

            She began to tell Dr. Reynolds everything she was seeing.  She was in small room with a cot.  Her left foot was chained to the wall and the man was laying on the floor.  There were two bigger men punching, kicking, and even burning him.  She screamed for them to stop, but they didn't listen.  There were bruises on her arms and she knew she felt pain.  Finally, she had managed to kick one of the men.

            "After I kicked him, he back handed me and I fell down.  I always wake up then," Sydney finished.

            "You keep dreaming about your mission to Germany?"  Barnett pried.

            "Yes.  But it's not real.  Sydney was never there.  In my sleep she is."

            "How so?"

            "We are in the room I was kept in.  She's chained to a wall and I can tell they've been hurting her.  Her arms are bruised and there's blood on her face," Vaughn said.  "I felt everything that happened to me for real. Only, she's there and she kicks one of the men.  He hits her hard and she falls.  The second man says that I've had enough and they leave.  Sydney tries to get to me, but can't."  He stopped and took a deep breath.

            "That's all?"

            "No.  I manage to get to her.  She holds me.  I know she is in pain too.  I want to take it away.  I can't.  She tells me she's sorry and it's her fault and that I should hate her for everything.  How can I hate her?"

            "That could very well be your subconscious being angry at Sydney for not being here," Barnett suggested.

            "It's not her fault she's not here.  It's not like she decided to go away.  She was taken."  Vaughn stood up.  "This was a waste of time."

            "You may think that, but it wasn't.  I do want you to come back in a few days."

            "Sure.  Fine," he mumbled as he got up and left.

            Vaughn stalked out of Barnett's office.  Therapy was a waste.  Talking about his feelings was not going to bring Sydney back. Going out and searching for her, putting everything he had into finding her would bring her back.  Or so he thought.  It was then he decided he wasn't going to listen to any order that demanded he back off the search for Sydney.  He was going to get all the help he could get.


End file.
